Not Until It Happens Again
When evidence isn’t enough, survivors and children are left unprotected.
By Jade Blue, with an anonymous submission to Make Yourself Heard
This submission shook me. A woman reached out to Make Yourself Heard and described an experience that no one should ever have to endure. She was pregnant when her ex-partner attacked her. During the same violent incident, he beat and strangled his own 18-month-old son. The assault was recorded on her home security system. There is footage. He pleaded guilty. And yet, today, he is seeking custody of the son, whom he strangled. And of the baby she was still carrying when he attacked her.
She has done everything she could. She reported the crime. She preserved the footage. She reached out to the police. To child protective services. To every authority that should have acted in the name of safeguarding.
This is what she was told:
“Because he hasn’t harmed your current son, there’s nothing we can do.”“You’ll have to wait until he hurts your child again to report anything further.”
This is her voice, in her words:
“I feel completely isolated, and the police and the state agency (responsible for child welfare and family support services) haven’t helped.
I’ve called child protective services, tried to open a case - they tell me that because he hasn’t harmed my current son, there isn’t anything they can do. The police say I have to wait for my son to be injured to be able to report. I just don’t understand how this can be.”
Let that land. A woman with documented evidence of a child being strangled, who is now being asked to hand that child back to the man who did it, is still being left with nothing but unanswered calls and closed doors.
She has been told that visible, fresh harm is the only thing that will count. Bruises must be recent. That broken trust doesn’t qualify. That fear isn’t admissible. What kind of system needs a second assault before it protects a child from the first?
This is not an anomaly. At Make Yourself Heard, we receive many stories like this - stories of women shouting into the void, begging the system to act before another injury, another funeral, another child is left to grow up in fear.
This survivor wrote:
“The tragedy of domestic violence and child abuse affects us all. When a father abuses a pregnant woman and an 18-month-old child, it's a heartbreaking reminder of the work we must do to protect our most vulnerable.”
“This type of case happens more than people realise. Please take a stand and spread awareness.”
And so, we are.
This Journal exists for precisely this reason - to document what survivors are not always allowed to say out loud, to centre what gets dismissed in courtrooms, waiting rooms, and press releases. These are not isolated stories. They are connected by the same systems that fail to listen until it’s too late.
We believe survivors shouldn’t have to carry the burden of proof alone.
We believe child safety should not be up for negotiation.
We believe that violence, once proven, should never be excused under the banner of “parental rights.”
To the survivor who shared this:
Thank you. Your courage in speaking out is powerful. Your voice matters, and we are listening.
To everyone else:
Don’t look away. This is happening - in real time, to real people - and it’s up to all of us to challenge the silence.
Note: While this is a U.S.-based experience, Make Yourself Heard is a UK-based platform.
We believe it’s vital to recognise the global nature of systemic failures - and to learn
from one another as we push for change, safety, and justice across borders.
