Still Not Free
When justice is delivered, but control continues - through appeals, courts, and silence
This piece was submitted anonymously by a survivor.
Their name is withheld, but their voice matters.
As we head into 2026... I should be celebrating another year of freedom from horrific sexual abuse, voyeurism, and control, but instead I’m still waiting anxiously to discover if my abuser has been successful in his appeal to reduce his sentence of 12 years (+3 on licence).
This is his fifth appeal attempt in the three years he’s been behind bars following seven guilty verdicts that include rape, voyeurism, control, and coercion, amongst others.
In effect, his fifth attempt to control my emotions and keep me on high alert since he was found guilty of those seven horrific charges in 2022.
2 - failed conviction appeals
1 - failed criminal case review
1 - sentence length appeal rejected
And we still await the outcome of his latest and 2nd attempt to reduce his prison time.
All of these appeals have been made possible by his use of Legal Aid. How is that right or fair to a victim who fought for her freedom but is still being punished and controlled by her abuser through the courts?
Seven guilty verdicts were returned by a jury, just two hours after a thorough 4-week brutal trial, which followed a year of him being on remand in prison, as he was considered such a danger to me.
The judge in her sentencing remarks called him “ a danger to women,” ... all women. Not just me. His desire for control and coercion stretches way beyond the realms of relationship boundaries and shackled me to him, erasing my soul in his need to control every aspect of my life from what underwear I could wear, what I could eat, who I saw, what clothes I wore, the job I did, where I went, the music I played and the length of time I could spend answering messages to my family.
A Legal Aid system that favours convicted abusers' rights over a victim's continued suffering is failing miserably.
A man who tortured his partner for ten terror-filled years should not be entitled to repeatedly use Legal Aid to challenge the outcome of a Crown Court trial. A barbaric trauma-inducing process that had me sinking to the depths of despair, but which should have granted me the freedom to live life to the fullest, but instead keeps me shackled to the letterbox waiting for the outcome of his latest campaign of control.
He’s eligible to apply for parole in 2028, so I see in the New Year... 2026, with only 2 years left of definite freedom, having spent every year since the trial nervously awaiting the outcome of each of his appeals.
I try my best to live my life. To do the things I could only dream of while he caged me like a tortured animal, unable to think for myself, while he erased every ounce of my life until I was an empty shell disguised as a woman.
I go about my daily life carrying the weight of an unfair legal system that allows my abuser to continue his abuse... effectively hiding my pain and suffering… just like I hid the abuse. It’s no different. He tortures through the courts while I put on a mask and pretend I’m fine... just because he’s behind bars doesn’t make the abuse of the legal system any less traumatic for me.
Let’s hope, as we step into 2026, that I get the result I need and the appeal court puts a stop to his power over my life once and for all.
