Early Release: Living in Fear
An anonymous journal submission exploring the fear, uncertainty and sleepless nights sparked by the prospect of early release
By Lorna*
Named changed for anonymity
It’s 21.50. I’ve barely been in bed an hour and I’ve already woken after an horrific nightmare and I have had to get up to check the house because I thought I heard someone inside. This is The reality of new levels of anxiety surrounding the early release of prisoners. I’m terrified. On edge. Being triggered by all the things I used to be triggered by and I haven’t even been told if my abuser could be freed early under the new sentencing guidelines. The nightly nightmares are violent with a clear focus on his release.
As yet I have no idea but ever since the news of the early release policy change I have been convinced he will be eligible and fear set in and I cannot shake it off. It didn’t help that I contacted my Victim Liaison Officer (VLO) with my worries and asking for some clarification only to get a bounce back email saying my VLO had retired. That sent me into a blind panic. I sobbed all day in sheer anxiety. I’d been told I’d likely find out through my VLO if my abuser of ten years was eligible for early release and I suddenly discover mine has retired and I no longer have one.
My brain went into overdrive and I was convinced he was free and on his way to kill me like he always said he would if I left him. I eventually got an email from my new VLO introducing herself but only to say she’s looking into the situation and will be in touch when she’s brought herself up to speed on her new clients… Meanwhile my reality is every single second of every day is filled with worry that my abusive ex could be waiting for the moment to carry out the threat he always made.
I still have no idea if he’s eligible but I have fear every time I come home from work at what post might be on my hall floor and I’m refreshing emails constantly incase my VLO has been in touch. I am genuinely terrified of being murdered. He said he would. He tried getting to me multiple times while on police bail and also while being released on reman while on remand in prison after applying for bail. He was arrested that very evening in my road after coming straight for me and luckily was thrown back in prison. This man means business. He always seeks revenge. Always. I will be made to pay for securing a conviction.
Releasing the most horrifically violent sex offenders and domestic abusers early should terrify communities. Mine was branded a danger to women by the judge in his trial. Not just me. ALL WOMEN. We should all be raising our voices so the Government can hear our fear. The early release of dangerous predators needs to stop before I or someone like me becomes a statistic that this life changing policy will be known and for without a doubt.
The conversation about early release must include the voices of those living with its consequences.
Thank you to the survivor who trusted M.Y.H with their story. If this piece reflects your own experience, please know that you are not alone. The uncertainty surrounding early release can have a significant impact on survivors' sense of safety and wellbeing. If you need support, you can contact organisations such as Rape Crisis or the National Domestic Abuse Helpline, or speak to your Victim Liaison Officer, ISVA, IDVA or another trusted support professional. As these conversations continue, we believe survivors' voices must remain central to shaping policies that prioritise safety, clear communication and lasting justice.
