This feature documents a survivor’s experience of childhood sexual abuse and the wider pattern of harm surrounding it. Rather than focusing on one act of violence, it examines grooming, community complicity, and the cultural mechanisms that protect abusers. Shared as part of Make Yourself Heard, this testimony aims to raise awareness, support survivors, and challenge the systems that enable abuse to persist.

Five years ago, as I moved into 2021, I wrote this without knowing how long the road ahead would be. I knew I was angry. I knew I wanted change. I knew silence wasn’t an option anymore.

The rape happened in 2017. But 2020 was the worst year of my life.

20th October 2020.
The day my life turned upside down.

I remember sitting in a meeting room at the police station, waiting for an update I had been anticipating for years. After nearly three and a half years of waiting, I thought I was finally about to go to court. Instead, I heard a word I had never come across before: sexsomnia.

That was the first time I heard it - in that room, from the Crown Prosecution Service.

This submission shook me.

A woman reached out to Make Yourself Heard and described an experience that no one should ever have to endure. She was pregnant when her ex-partner attacked her. During the same violent incident, he beat and strangled his own 18-month-old son. The assault was recorded on her home security system. There is footage. He pleaded guilty.

And yet, today, he is seeking custody of the son, whom he strangled. And of the baby she was still carrying when he attacked her.

The joy I should be feeling, loving my life and cherishing my family, all turns to horror scenarios flashing through my nightmares when a letter from the Witness Care team lands on my hall floor…repeatedly in the three years since my abuser has been in prison, this has been the case.

I didn’t set out to be a victim of domestic abuse; I didn’t intend to be a prisoner and not a partner for ten terror-filled years, but the shackles of control and coercion sneak slowly around your life until, before you know it, you're contemplating death as your only means of escape.

The police complaints process can often feel like a labyrinth, fraught with obstacles, delays, and a pervasive sense of impersonal bureaucracy. For individuals seeking justice, this journey can be emotionally taxing and frustrating.

Charlotte's experience serves as a critical case study, shedding light on the intricacies of this system, revealing the challenges faced by those seeking accountability, and highlighting areas for improvement.

My journey toward hope and empowerment began when fate brought me into contact with an extraordinary journalist. This encounter was somewhat serendipitous, taking place on a September afternoon in 2019, nearly two and a half years after I reported being raped. While cleaning the windows of my flat and tuning into BBC Radio 4's Woman's Hour, I stumbled upon an interview featuring Claire Waxman, the Victim's Commissioner for London.

In the labyrinthine UK justice system, some legal defences are so unusual that they seem almost surreal. “Sexsomnia” -  a rare sleep disorder that allegedly causes people to engage in sexual acts while unconscious - is one of them.

Once confined to obscure medical journals, sexsomnia has entered both criminal and family courts with alarming frequency.

The path to justice for victim-survivors of sexual violence is not only fraught with challenges but often feels like an uphill battle. A report from Victim Support, "Suffering for Justice," highlights just how deeply flawed the criminal justice system is when it comes to handling sexual violence cases.

Sex after rape is one of the most complex and deeply personal journeys a survivor can face. It’s not just about physical intimacy - it’s about reclaiming a sense of control, safety, and self-worth in a body that may feel like it has been taken away. For those in long-term relationships, this journey involves personal healing and shared understanding with a partner. For those dating after experiencing trauma, it adds a new layer of vulnerability and navigation.